Forgiving the Phelps, Westboro Baptist Church and Fox News

Many people argue it's better to ignore Westboro Baptist Church and the Phelps family, to deprive them of the media attention they seek. But when the U.S. Supreme Court decided to hear Snyder v. Phelps, that became impossible. As Margie Phelps, eldest daughter of Fred Phelps and the attorney who argued the case, said today on Fox News Sunday, "This case put a megaphone to this little church."

With the Court's ruling on free speech grounds, we must all exercise our free speech to drown out the Phelps' hate with love and forgiveness. Al Snyder did the country a favor by exposing the Phelps. They are now the face of hate and bigotry for this generation's primary civil rights battle, just as Bull Connor, George Wallace, Strom Thurmond and others were in an earlier generation, also using The Bible to justify their beliefs.

As Fred Phelps approaches the end of his life, there is no indication he or his family is the least bit repentant for their hatred. They are not seeking forgiveness as bigots of the past have done, but that need not stop us from offering our forgiveness to them. The reasons we should were evident in this morning's interview.

On Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace, Margie Phelps's otherwise stern and formidable presence cracked twice.

The final exchange in the interview was most telling, for in it Ms. Phelps undercut the core of her argument and the basis for Westboro's pickets. Wallace asked if there was a moral difference between the American soldiers whose deaths the Phelps celebrate, and Islamic Jihadists:

Phelps: Yes, there is a difference, the American soldier is worse because he pretends that he's fighting for liberty and a Christian Nation and there is not a bigger lie on the face of this earth today. Those soldiers are fighting for same-sex marriage and all of the lesser included sins and there is not an ounce of nobility in the United States military today. If you fear God you will not put that uniform on.

Wallace: And that is apparently worse than slaughtering innocents.

Phelps: They (US soldiers) are slaughtering innocents.

Inherent in her final reply is the recognition there are "innocents" in the world. But in every other utterance from Phelps during this interview, and in decades of her family's pickets, is the underlying belief everyone in the world, except the Phelps, is going to hell. In the interview she even said her mother and father, alone in their entire generation the whole world around, were the only two people keeping true to Biblical principles. This will come as news to many other self-righteous people certain they alone have the Truth.

As a person of faith, I'm much more comfortable with the notion that the more I learn, the more I discover how little I know. Doubt, questioning, and an open heart are the tools of most seekers I know, none of whom claim to have it all figured out. When someone tells me they do, I run the other way.

The certainty the Phelps wear like a shield of armor also cracked earlier in the interview, in a more painful way. Wallace quoted her estranged brothers then asked Ms. Phelps about the well-documented reports of physical and psychological abuse the family endured at the hands of their father growing up.

Tellingly it was her body language that gave her away. For the only time in the interview, she looked down. Otherwise, her steely gaze pierced the camera lens the entire time. Only in this reply did Ms. Phelps hesitate, saying "Mark always had an overactive imagination," then stuttering just a bit before regaining her footing, returning her eyes to the camera, and saying they were very thankful for their parents. I'm sure that's true, and that somehow she and others have found forgiveness for the abuse they witnessed or endured.

I interviewed Nate Phelps, one of the four Phelps children to escape their father's fear and oppression. Listening to him recall his childhood was as authentic a conversation as I've ever had with anyone. Seeing Margie look away today was as painful as it was telling.You don't have to be an expert to see this given her otherwise overly confident, often strident, tone.

In exchanges that will likely get more coverage, Ms. Phelps said that all the Supreme Court Justices are going to hell and that President Obama will be "King of the World before this is all said and done and he is most likely The Beast spoken of in Revelations." Two other ministers from Topeka, Kansas I interviewed at the time of oral arguments, have different takes on the meaning of Revelations.

Sometimes allowing people like the Phelps their day in court is required so people see what the face of hate really looks like. People like Al Snyder get hurt, no doubt, and that is unfortunate. But it's possible that advancing civil rights for gay Americans wouldn't be nearly as far along if it weren't for the Phelps. It is doubtful many people would have examined their own hearts on a range of issues, without their extreme behavior.

In this way, perhaps we should thank the Phelps for giving all Americans this experience, and thus live into the true understanding of forgiveness, appreciating the lesson, no matter how it differs for each of us or how learn it. When we come to a place of gratitude, even for the darkest parts of life, we can turn away from that which no longer serves us and once again choose love over hate, compassion over arrogant certainty.

As for Fox, they still have time to atone. United in Support of Al Snyder and several generals who have sued for the Phelps to be disbarred, are claiming Margie Phelps lied in the interview this morning, by suggesting their case was dismissed. Chris Wallace acknowledged Fox was unable to confirm this coming out of a commercial break. Contact Fox News and encourage them to provide equal time to people who can counter the Phelps. Email: fns@foxnews.com, yourcomments@foxnews.com, newsmanager@foxnews.com or call 1-888-369-4762.

The Interview



Fox News Sunday and Phelps: Unbalanced in So Many Ways

Chris Wallace anticipates complaints in this video talking about his decision to welcome Margie Phelps to Fox News Sunday tomorrow. They will discuss the recent Snyder v. Phelps ruling from the U.S. Supreme Court. Unfortunately, just hours before air time, Wallace seems happy for the controversy, rather than trying to book a guest who could provide balance. Then again, how do you balance Phelps? On Fox? Unbalanced in so many ways.

United Support for Al Snyder is organizing on Facebook and Twitter, attempting to get Fox News to include perspective from military personnel. Wallace could also include faith leaders who would offer context to the Phelps' rants on theological grounds. Fox could also include gay rights leaders, or even gay faith leaders. Wallace acknowledges this is a shift in policy from ignoring the Phelps, so why not at least attempt some balance?

Register your comment encouraging Fox to add another guest here.

One can hope Wallace is at least doing his homework, but just in case, here's a little context on Phelps; how they are viewed in Topeka, Kansas; changing attitudes toward gay rights in America since they emerged on the national scene at the time of Matthew Shepard's murder; and the real winner in Snyder v. Phelps.

Snyder v. Phelps: In the Court of Public Opinion, Snyder Wins

Note: This article also featured on Huffington Post Politics.

It is easy to see the US Supreme Court decision in Snyder v. Phelps as a victory for the hate-mongering Westboro Baptist Church. That is the obvious story with an 8-1 decision. Most people won't think about it beyond the initial news coverage.

The justices awarded a "win" to Phelps inside the court, but Al Snyder beats Westboro Baptist Church hands-down in the equally important court of public opinion. No one will embrace the Phelps' message of hate because of this ruling, the justices unanimously agreed their speech is vile. But many millions of Americans have re-examined their hearts and beliefs because Al Snyder had the courage of his convictions to stand up to the Phelps. Al Snyder's efforts make America a better place because more people are exercising their free speech to counter the Phelps hate.

The law says free speech trumps all, and apparently leaves no remedy for private citizens, distinguished from public figures, who are harmed by speech that crosses the line into harassment. In his dissent, Justice Alito hit exactly the right tone, "In order to have a society in which public issues can be openly and vigorously debated, it is not necessary to allow the brutalization of innocent victims." Alito articulates an ability to protect private citizens from harm, noting the targeted nature of the Phelps' attacks against Snyder in press releases, pickets and an online diatribe after Matthew Snyder's funeral. In each instance, the Phelps personally attacked an honorable family who gave the ultimate sacrifice to their country.

The Phelps will continue to picket funerals, taunting mourners and disrupting one of the most sacred rites every family, of every belief, experiences. They will not be bankrupted by the $5 million tort judgment for the intentional infliction of emotional distress that a jury of their peers awarded Mr. Snyder in the lower court.

But because of Al Snyder's courage and grace, seeing this case through to the US Supreme Court five years after his son's funeral, more Americans are now aware of exactly what hate looks like: furrowed brow, aged beyond years, narrow beady eyes, pinched faces and foaming spittle in the corners of angry mouths. Hate is rabid. Americans know what hate sounds like: pitched tones screaming absolutes rather than genuinely listening to the heart of another. Hate knows no compassion. Because of Al Snyder's dignity, Americans now know what hate feels like: abusive and intrusive, both emotionally and psychologically -- just as the Phelps children experienced at the hands of their father growing up, as has been documented.

Far from winning converts, the country is turning away from the Phelps' hate. Counter-protests are now more common than they were when Snyder filed his case. Wherever the Phelps go the counter-protests are usually much larger than the half-dozen or so Phelps family members picketing. Online efforts like Phelps-a-thon.com and others raise money for anti-bullying and pro-LGBT organizations whenever and wherever the Phelps picket, giving people all over the country an opportunity to counter hate with love. Another opportunity to push back against the Phelps, as Al Snyder is now faced with the ultimate insult added to his injury, having to pay the court costs of the Phelps, is to contribute here as a way of thanking him for exposing the Phelps as the small-minded bigots they are.

No doubt, there is celebrating in the isolated Phelps family compound in my hometown of Topeka, Kansas. To them, their hate has been vindicated. This family of several reprimanded and disbarred lawyers, with a long history of abusing the legal system, triumphed in the highest court in the land. They believe they are famous, but infamous seems more accurate.

The Snyders in Westminster, Maryland, are obviously disappointed, but not for the loss of the millions of dollars awarded by the lower court. Mr. Snyder's sorrow is for the families all across America who now will experience what he did -- the taunting, invasion of privacy, and intrusion into one of life's most sacred moments.

Al Snyder wasn't the least bit concerned about the money except for the fact it might have deprived Westboro Baptist Church from ever disrupting another family's mourning. The legal remedy he sought was not for private gain, but public good. While the court's decision strongly affirms free speech, and that is certainly in the public good, Snyder's concern was that the court's decision gives all rights to those who threaten civility by targeting private citizens with hate, turning funerals into spectacles. It seems the law reserves no rights to Americans who, like him and his family, simply want to bury a loved one and grieve privately.

Legal scholars and others will agree or disagree on the fine points of the law, but in the battle for hearts and minds, Al Snyder won the day he took a stand, and millions of Americans stand with him today while the Phelps grow ever more isolated. That's progress.